Blue Streaks, &c.

On cursing (in high places); a 1640s sermon; and the dire problem of Iran

(Photo by MARIOLA GROBELSKA on Unsplash)

Normally, this column does not “work blue.” If there are swear words, they are usually accompanied by asterisks (though not always). (Sometimes asterisks can be prissy.) But let me quote you an article, published yesterday:

On Tuesday, President Trump dropped a bomb—not a bunker-buster but the F-bomb. Talking to the press about Israel and Iran, he said, “We have two countries that have been fighting so long and so hard that they don’t know what the fuck they’re doing.”

I wrote that article for The Spectator World. Here is the second paragraph (the first being the one I have already quoted):

There is a lot to say about this statement—starting with the implied moral equivalence between the two countries. But let’s focus on the F-bomb. Has a president ever before used this word in public? Used it deliberately, in a public statement? Trump seems to have recorded a first.

Yes. From there, I went through a little history—a history of presidential profanity—“from Truman to Trump,” as the subheading of the piece says (alliteratively).

Ed Muskie—“the Man from Maine”—did not make it to the presidency. He made it pretty far, though. He was the governor of Maine, a U.S. senator, and secretary of state (under Carter). One year—1968—he was the Democrats’ vice-presidential nominee (running with Hubert Humphrey).

By all accounts, Mr. Muskie was very fond of the F-word (and other expletives, not deleted). When the venerable statesman passed away in 1996, one reporter, who had spent a lot of time with him, and liked him a lot, said, “It was more or less his favorite word.”

I wish I had known Muskie, if only to interview him.

Let me paste another paragraph or two from the Spectator World piece:

“If he runs, I’ll whip his ass,” President Carter said. He was referring to Senator Ted Kennedy, who was thinking about challenging him for the 1980 Democratic presidential nomination. (Kennedy wound up doing it and losing.) Carter made the remark privately to congressmen—but it duly leaked.

Later, in his memoirs, Carter wrote, “Some of my staff members said it was the best thing for morale around the White House since the Willie Nelson concert.”

Do you know that campaign buttons were made out of Carter’s statement? They are charming—and available for sale on eBay and elsewhere. Here’s one button. Here’s another.

If you’re in the market for political mementoes . . .

I grew up in the orbit of Detroit, whose mayor was Coleman A. Young. He was no Boy Scout. He once said something like this: “There is no better tool than a well-placed curse word.” I have gone from memory, but I’m sure of the phrase “well-placed curse word.”

My friend Kevin D. Williamson likes to quote the mayor’s greeting to reporters, when he spoke to them via satellite hook-up while on vacation in Hawaii: “Aloha, motherf***ers.”

Verbatim.

Some people believe, or used to believe, “An intelligent person doesn’t have to swear, and never does.” Bill Buckley always said this wasn’t true. He occasionally proved it, too.

A friend of mine once told Bill about a lousy experience he had had—well, not lousy, exactly, but not very nice or pleasant. My friend had not been treated collegially by longtime colleagues of his. In reply, Bill made a simple and apt observation: “People can be so shitty.”

Did I ever tell you the one about Kingsley Amis? (There are endless stories about Kingsley Amis, all of them good.) It was related to me by David Pryce-Jones. I wrote it up once, and I will paste:

One day, Amis was lunching at one of the clubs in London. A woman came by and said, “Mr. Amis, I have just read your latest book.” Brightening, Amis said, “Yes?” The lady continued, “I’m an admirer of yours, but I must say that your new book is not up to your usual high standard.”

Now, Amis was basically the quickest, wittiest man in the world. His verbal skills were unsurpassed. He could have answered in a thousand ways. What happened?

Gripping the table, veins bulging, he said, “F*** you!”

I wish I had known Amis. (I’m glad I’ve known people who knew him, including Robert Conquest.)

***

Let me pause for a language note (of the non-obscene variety). Years ago, we had a neighbor whose mailbox read, “The Murray’s.” A lot of people use an apostrophe to pluralize names. Not “the Smiths” but “the Smith’s.” You can snicker at this. It’s kind of hillbilly.

But . . .

For reasons I could get into, I was reading a sermon by Paul Gosnold, delivered at “St. Maries, Oxford,” in August 1644. I’ll tell you why I was reading it, actually. I had looked up the word “kakistocracy.” The first known use of that word is in Gosnold’s sermon.

Forget “kakistocracy,” my eyes fastened on this:

Therefore we need not make any scruple of praying against such: against those Sanctimonious Incendiaries, who have fetched fire from heaven to set their Country in combustion, have pretended Religion to raise and maintaine a most wicked rebellion: against those Nero’s, who have ripped up the wombe of the mother that bare them, and wounded the breasts that gave them sucke: against those Cannibal’s who feed upon the flesh and are drunke with the bloud of their own brethren: against those Catiline’s who seeke their private ends in the publicke disturbance, and have set the Kingdome on fire to rost their owne egges . . .

Huh. (Those italics are in the original, by the way.)

There are people who think you should never use an apostrophe to pluralize. An apostrophe should be reserved for the possessive, they say. I am not one of those people. Think of the Major League Baseball team whose cap reads “A’s.” “As” would be absurd (and we would pronounce it “Az”).

Think of the Boston Celtics, who are sometimes known as “the C’s.” “Cs”? No, thanks.

***

Maybe we could end on the subject of Iran—Iran, Israel, the United States, the Middle East, and the world at large. I have sounded some themes, or made some points, in recent weeks. (Here, for example.) They are simple points, but fundamental, as simple points often are.

There had to be a reckoning. Maybe there has to be one still. The head of the beast—the terrorist beast—is the Iranian dictatorship; Hamas, Hezbollah, and the rest are mere tentacles. Would a nuclear Iran be deterrable? Better not to test the question, if possible. When people pledge to kill you, should you believe them? Especially when they are driving toward weapons to accomplish the job? What does Israel owe its people? What is the point of Zionism? What is the responsibility of the United States?

One could go on.

I would like to recommend an article, here. It is by Yossi Klein Halevi, the veteran journalist and author. It is a beautiful article. Well, maybe not “beautiful,” given the subject, but an excellent article, saying the necessary, or much of it, in a short space: the necessary about the Iran problem.

The title of the article is “This had to be done.” I will quote the first sentence:

Power is not the answer to all problems. But neither is restraint. If you have the power to prevent the world’s biggest exporter of terrorism from developing nuclear immunity yet fail to use it, then disarm, embrace pacifism, and prepare to suffer the consequences.

Usually, I begin a column containing various subjects with weighty ones, then get lighter. Today, I have done the opposite. But I know that readers don’t mind.

Thank you for joining me, my friends.